ESSAY: The Pursuit of Happiness?

February 28th 2008:

The endless pursuit of happiness in career, love and with self is what seems to be the life of an average twenty-something female in Britain today.

Promises of further education being the ticket to success had us all filling out numerous applications before we’d even sat our GCSEs. Envisioning doors opening with ease; once exams were all said and done and the qualification papers were in hand. Then, reality hit: the majority of us were steered on the same narrow road to reach our career goals, and thus we resulted in blocking the road, making it much smaller and even more competitive.

Hard work is not the issue, for a lazy and apathetic culture who expect everything to be handed on a plate (plus five minutes of fame as an extra serving) is unproductive for everyone. The question is, even when our feet are through the door are we ever able to remove our shoes and feel at home? Or are we made to feel like an eternal GI Jane, striving to keep up in an ’Old Boys’ Club’?.

And what of love? In this world of digitalisation and Photoshop are his expectations too high? Bombarded with images of fast cash, in an almost cashless society and lavish living have I become accustomed (some say conditioned) to the need for greed; where my happiness can be counted, literally? Speed dating has become the so-called advanced way of finding a partner, a method that appears to have been created for those of us who barely have the time to meet people under more ’traditional’ circumstances and thus we do not want to waste further time with undesirables. With three to eight minutes allocated per person we are able to meet as many potential partners as possible, in one night or a few. In a society insistent on choice this appears to be a natural addition to the list.

But what happened to the time before, when intimacy was not sold in a 30ml bottle and truth was more than just an artist with a one-hit single? Has the era of true companionship passed this generation by?

It has been said that the art of true love is acceptance, yet how do we begin to love another if we have not mastered the art of loving ourselves? I can categorically say that the hardest relationship I currently have is the one with myself: recognizing strengths, improving on weaknesses and finding my own niche in this often confusing and testing journey of life. Of course it is unrealistic to feel confident about self in every situation, especially when we are taken out of our comfort zone, but how do you convince someone you are the right person for the job (work related or otherwise) if your self-confidence and acceptance of self is non existent? So though I may at times find myself questioning my choices and wondering about my actions, there does come a point where I know that whatever decision I make it is the best one for me..

There is nothing permanent about a career, a relationship or even confidence; neither of these are consistent or guaranteed on a long-term basis. Maybe it isn’t happiness we should be seeking, perhaps it is contentment. Where we can be satisfied with our achievements (whatever they may be) on a long term basis and rid ourselves of the short term, almost drug-like high happiness seems to offer.

© Rachelle Hull 2008
Published (in part) in the New Nation newspaper