It's a strange and horrible experience when you think you know someone, only to discover they are not the person you originally thought.
In my close relationships with people I am open and honest, I find it impossible to be any other way; in truth, I don't actually know how to be any other way. It hurts and cuts to the core, when everything you have ever shared with a person, given to a person turns out to be the only truth in the relationship. When you discover the very things that made you respect that person and/or (fall in) love that person, don't actually hold up under the microscope. A small part of your world stops or ends...well it does for me.
You begin to wonder at what point did truth turn into fiction, and did it ever exist in the first place? And what of the memories? Conversations about life, love, hope and dreams, do they even begin to matter anymore. What exactly can you take away with you and/or cherish when you can no longer discern what was real and what was make believe.
I think the worst emotion in all of this, besides all the pain, is the disappointment. Disappointment in yourself for believing, perhaps feeling that you could have been more aware and less gullible. But also (and more importantly) disappointment in the other person.
Disappointed that they took the trouble to waste their time and yours.
© Rachelle Hull 2006
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1 comment:
ok... I am hooked... lol
I think we all have felt like a "fool" at one time or another for just doing what is human.. Trusting and thinking that we know someone.. Truth is.. What we learn is only a small portion of that person. We all are many things. We all show people what we want to show them. We all hold back some part of ourselves. Sometimes we don't even know the many dimensions that are within ourselves.. Or maybe we just hold back or repress lots of it.. Often.. if not all of the time.. people we come across are a reflection of ourselves in some way..
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